too heavy as a carry-on

I haven't picked up a book since X and I broke up (don't tell book club!) since I can't really focus on any of the words on the page.  Ironic, since I manage to type several paragraphs of emotional vomit multiple times a week.  Instead, I mindlessly flip through Glamour, Vogue, and InStyle.  I think it might be making me a less intelligent person.

Plane flights are the best time to peruse trashy magazines, but I could tell the guy in the aisle seat was obviously judging me.  I can't blame him; the shiny glossy pages were filled with articles like "Stop the Bitch Wars!" and "I Wish My Sex Life Were More _________!".  After you rip out all the overly pungent perfume ads, you'll see at least 1/3 of the articles are devoted to men/relationships.  (Apparently, paying a mere 3.99$ will provide me with some insight into the male mind?  Negative.)

As I was engrossed in skimming "Hot Debate: Dating Older vs. Younger Guys"*, I came to a realization.

I. Have. Baggage.

*Can you believe these are all for real article titles!?

I guess there are different types of relationship baggage, all of varying degrees of weight.  This can range anywhere from "Owns More Cats Than Had Boyfriends" to "Only Dates Guys in Bands" to "My Last 5 Boyfriends Ended Up Gay" (thankfully, none of these are applicable to me).  There are more than a handful of guys with oversized "I Can't Commit" suitcases.  I am clearly now lugging around the "Serious Lack of Trust" Baggage.

It's like, as you get older, it just gets heavier.  It might start off with carrying around a little bindle (you know, those handkerchiefs tied to a stick) which hardly weighs anything.  But then, flash forward a few years, and somehow you're all of a sudden carting around a five-piece set on wheels that you're required to check.

And though I definitely haven't reached the level of acquiring an entire Samonsite collection, I do think I'm now required to pay that extra baggage fee.

"How I Met Your Mother" Video Clip