Since our mid-twenties, X and I averaged about 5 weddings a year. His best friend's wedding took place this earlier month; I had bought my plane ticket and a new dress and was looking forward spending the weekend with him. I obviously didn't attend (plane ticket credited, dress saved for another time), but in the past week and a half, I did receive two other wedding invitations in the mail.
One was a black envelope with silver swirls. The RSVP card was addressed to Shailah and X. Clearly, Bride is a little behind.
But it was actually the second invitation that made me pause. In beautiful cursive writing, it read Shailah & Guest.
It's time to move on. He obviously has. I logged onto my facebook this afternoon and staring back at me is a picture of him and his slore plastered on my news feed. He said she was just a distraction, but that clearly isn't true. He's already has someone new? Was I that easily forgotten? I guess it doesn't matter. But it is clear is that he's over me.
I want to yell at him. I want to tell him it's incredibly unfair that it all turned out this way. Why do you get to be happy when you're the one who wasn't faithful? I want to say all the horrible things I've been thinking all summer. I want him to how know how I felt when he told me the truth. How I couldn't catch my breath and how it couldn't be true. He betrayed me; I trusted him and he broke all of his promises.
I loved him. And he broke my heart. Into a million pieces that I'm desperately trying to glue back together.
I'm tired of crying over you. I don't understand why you did this to us. I deserved better than that.
I deserve someone better than you.
"nothing compares, no worries or cares/
regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made/
who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?" -adele
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