conquered!

[Remember my 30-by-30?  I sort of backlogged a few posts because I was having technical issues with photos...  All sorted several months later and I'd like to share the last remaining bullet points, though.]

I'm still alive!!  With both feet firmly planted on the ground.

I wasn't really sure what to expect.   Honestly, I thought it was be more graceful, sort of Hey!-Look!-I'm-soaring-like-a-bird!  Yeah, not so much...

That said, it was the most adrenaline-rushing moment of my life.


First, you sign away your life.  There are about thirty-eight pages with a million bullet points.  Each point has a bolded line that says "AND YOU MAY DIE AND YOUR FAMILY CAN'T SUE US". Initial here.

Then, you are herded into a back room to watch a "safety instructional video".  Oh, god.  It was like a Dharma Initiative clip straight from The Island, circa who-the-hell-knows-when.

At this point, you think you really might die.  Or at least come out of this with fewer appendages.

Next, you find your name on a computer screen that tells you how many hours you have left to live.

We are either super excited or about to throw up.

You are then suited up (you sort of feel like a bad-ass at the moment), sardine packed into a rickety-old plane, and then bitch-strapped to your instructor (less bad-ass).

As J pointed out, at this point, you're pretty much cargo.  You're like an extra backpack that your tandem buddy has to bring back down to ground.  That training video you watched?  Yeah, it just instructs you on how to act exactly like luggage.  Don't move, don't fling around, stay still and try not to vomit.

Luciano, the giant Italian dude that I have attached to me, is forcing me in the open doorway of the plane.

OH. MY. GOD.  We are 14,000 feet above the ground.  The wind is blowing crazy hard and I can't hear anything.

"Ready?!  One!  Two!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

We tumbled rather ungracefully for the longest 60 seconds of my life, and I couldn't tell which way was up.  Then, the parachute pulled open and you start to get your bearings.

The skyline to one side and the Gulf on the opposite.  The wind is calmer; the horizon line stretches out for forever.


So, I didn't throw up.  And I still have both legs.  I even had my eyes open the entire time.

Yeah, it was pretty f-ing incredible.

Certificate for Still Being Alive
Thanks for the birthday present, J!