guessing game

I'm not really sure what happened.  Last time, it was an incident, a specific moment of time. I could pinpoint to the exact second when he told me what had happened and I shattered a framed picture against the wall.

But this time....



It's not knowing that's the hardest. 


My cell phone buzzes, but I know the text won't be for him. The last message of his read "we'll talk soon."  But that was nearly two weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since. And now I'm going through it all over again.

I packed away the beautiful book he gave me for my birthday.  The stuffed animal he won me from the county fair is wrapped in fabric, hidden away on the tallest shelf in my closet, out of view. I put away laundry tonight and had to separate his clothes out, though I'm not sure what to do with any of it.

My imagination is crazy. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure as to how this all the plays out.  But at this point, I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it?  He spoke volumes without actually saying anything at all.

As cautious as I was, it didn't seem to do much good.  He stepped on my heart all over again.  And he didn't even seem to care.

Rinse and repeat.